Top Ten TV Episodes

Two Points of Interest before we dive in here:
1. I suck. This post has taken me forever to write and I'm sorry I haven't been posting more. BUT- its about to be May sweeps and I promise I will be more diligent for this final month of the tv season.

2. I'm having major HTML issues, so please ignore any font/style changes below...

In the interest of encouraging you faithful readers to share your opinions more, I've decided to list here my 10 top favorite episodes of tv ever. PLEASE-- leave some comments! Tell me if you agree/disagree, what your favs are-- I don't care what you say, as long as you say it!

Before I show you this illustrious list, I must explain my criteria.

1. I only considered shows that I watched live, later that night on Tivo, or on-demand shortly after they aired. Thus, you will not find any of my favorite episodes of I Love Lucy or Battlestar Galactica or Deadwood here, because I watched them too late after they aired to consider them eligible here.

2. These are not necessarily the best episodes ever (though in most cases, they are)-- these are the ones that elicited the most powerful emotional responses from me, so much so that I can vividly recall what it felt like to watch each and every one of these.

Here we go, folks. Enjoy!

10. Friends - Season 3, Episode 24-- "The One At The Beach"
This Season 3 finale was one of the first television shows I watched that really felt like "event tv." I can remember the bellow of frustration that issued forth from my mouth as the season ended with the horrible cliffhanger of Ross choosing between Rachel and Bonnie (Christine Taylor). For those of you who don't remember, the whole gang has gone to stay at the beach. Phoebe meets her birth mother, the gang plays "strip Happy Days Game," and Rachel convinces Ross's girlfriend Bonnie to shave her beautiful blonde hair, rendering her completely bald. Upon learning that Rachel still loves him, Ross must decide which girl to pursue. Bonnie and Rachel are staying across the hall from one another, but we don't know which room belongs to which girl. At the end of the episode, Ross walks into one of the rooms, BUT WHOSE IS IT?! Ross and Rachel were always the romantic and emotional focal point of the show, and this episode provided the most emotional punch of them all.

9. Entourage - Season 3, Episode 6 -- "Three's Company"
I defy you to name another television show that features a threesome with an averagely cool dude (read: your textual surrogate), a smoking hot blonde and a scorchingly hot brunette, complete with girl on girl making out. That alone is enough to vault this episode into my top ten, but there are certainly other factors that make this episode so fantastic. While Eric is off doing Sloan and Tori, Vince is playing hardball with Warner Bros., refusing to do Aquaman 2 for the studio that lied to his face. The only way he'll take the job is if Ari can find an audition for Johnny Drama. Drama gets the audition (and then the part and then a billboard), Vince agrees to film, but he refuses to show up to breakfast with the studio head the next morning. The feeling in my stomach as studio head Alan Grey (a hybrid of real life Warner Bros. studio head Alan Horn and Paramount head Brad Grey), tells Ari to fuck off and announces that Vince won't be in the film is as palpable now as it was when I watched it. The drama is great, the stakes are high, the girls are hot-- it doesn't get better than this.

8. Rome - Season 1, Episode 11 -- "The Spoils"
For those of you who haven't yet watched an episode of Rome, you are missing out big time. Where do you think Showtime got the balls to do The Tudors? Because they noticed how, with the right talent, effort and money, HBO created the best historical fiction television show of all time. With enormous authentic sets, beautifully detailed authentic costumes, and the usual fantastic writing/directing/acting and production value we've come to expect from HBO, Rome is a sensational show and "The Spoils" was one of its most sensational episodes (I say "was" because the series finale was a few weeks ago). This episode not only features intense moments of building tension between Caesar and Brutus (remember, the next episode is the season finale!), but the highlight of this episode is the ridiculously amazing scene at the gladiator arena. Titus Pullo has been condemned to die in the arena, but if you know Pullo, you know he isn't going out without a fight. What follows is one of the best action sequences I've ever seen, on tv or otherwise; its a scene that makes Ridley Scott's Gladiator seem like a high school play. If you haven't watched this show, you should because its fantastic-- but if you watch for this scene alone, it will be enough.

7. Lost - Season 2, Episode 1 - "Man of Science, Man of Faith"
If I were doing a top 10 most memorable tv scenes ever, the opening scene of this episode would hands down be number 1. From the iconic Mama Cass "Make Your Own Kind of Music" record to Desmond's odd morning routine to the shocking revelation of where the hell this scene actually takes place, these few minutes represent television at its very finest. This episode features everything that makes Lost great: important information is revealed (for once), crazy freaky weirdness occurs (Walt dripping wet in the jungle whispering things to Shannon springs to mind ) the flashback is one of the best ever (we learn how Jack met his ex-wife, but more importantly, we see how Jack meets Desmond at the track), and the ending is jaw-dropping (Desmond and Jack come face to face). This is also a pivotal episode in the Jack vs. Locke saga, as they really begin to disagree and move apart here. This is my personal favorite episode of the entire series and one of the only ones where I can recall exactly how I felt while watching it because it was so damn powerful (last week's buried alive moment was pretty damn powerful, by the way!). Pure awesomeness.

6. Late Night with Conan O'Brien - Ep. 1956, air date: 9/23/04
I'm not usually one to channel surf or watch television spontaneously because I can't stand most of what's on television and I hate commercials. But when I'm out of town, lounging at a relative's house or at a hotel, I almost always watch late night talk shows. In Fall of 04, I went to my grandparents house in Baltimore for the Jewish High Holy Days with my sister and, unsurprisingly, we found ourselves watching Conan in our room before we went to sleep. Little did I know that the very first segment that aired would turn out to be 8 of the funniest minutes I've ever spent watching television. Ladies and gentlemen, for your viewing pleasure, I present to you: Andy Blitz's Pop Up Problem.

5. The Wonder Years - Season 6, Episode 20 -- "Independence Day"
Yes, I can actually recall, quite vividly in fact, the experience of watching this series finale in May of 1993 as a 7-year-old, though to be fair, the full weight of this episode was lost on me until I re-watched the entire series on Nick at Night about 6 years ago. For my money, there has never been a better show about adolescence, family or the 50's than The Wonder Years. This show succeeded where series like American Dreams or Freaks and Geeks failed, for Kevin Arnold and his family consistently delivered poignant moments of what it was truly like to be a child of the 1950's in suburban America. The series finale, when we see Kevin and Winnie's final moments together and learn through voice-over the fates of each of the individual characters (Papa Arnold dying a few years later of a heart attack? Heart breaking). This episode will make you cry, it will make you smile and most of all, it will bowl you over with its overwhelming sense of nostalgia, for your own adolescent days, as well as for the days when our world seemed so much simpler. Ah, Kevin Arnold...

>4. South Park - Season 1, Episode 9 -- "Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo"
While the entire first season (and let's be honest, the entire series) of South Park is hysterical, this episode stands out as one of the best, as well as one of the indicators of how far Trey Parker (and sort of Matt Stone, who doesn't really do anything) could take this show creatively. I recall watching this episode when it first aired in 1997 with my friend Gabe and laughing non-stop for several minutes as Cartman sang the defining anthem of my formative years, "Kyle's Mom's a Bitch." Remember folks, this was back in the days when saying "bitch" on tv was right up with their high treason on the list of American no-nos. For a show to have a bunch of cartoon 9th graders singing "bitch" over and over again (in several different languages to boot), was revolutionary and for me at least, unforgettable. The rest of the episode is pretty damn hilarious as well, with the other fantastic musical numbers (Kyle's "I'm a Lonely Jew on Christmas," the Mr. Hankey song, and several others among them), South Park's usual satirical bite, and a talking/dancing/singing deuce. To be quite frank,there's really nothing quite like a dancing deuce.

3. Heroes - Season 1, Episode 1 -- "Genesis"
As most of you who have been following this blog probably know by now, my favorite show currently on the air is Heroes. And let me tell you, this love affair began the moment the pilot began, with the unexplained shot of Peter Petrelli standing on a rooftop as Mohinder's voice-over narration poetically discusses what it means to be different, special. In New York this past summer, every movie I went to had an "Inside Look" into Heroes before the previews and so I was eagerly anticipating the show's debut. I did not expect the two hour pilot to be so freaking incredible to the point where it now probably ranks as my favorite tv pilot of all time. As I have often said before, I usually hate pilots. Pilots tend to be completely different then all the other episodes of the series because so much of the pilot must be devoted to narrative exposition that sets up the series' main thrust. While this episode does set up the narrative arc for the rest of the series (can the Heroes save New York from exploding?), it is also in perfect harmony with the rest of the episodes and is in fact, the best one. Incredible power uses, plot twists and surprises at every turn, high dramatic stakes-- I remember I felt as if I were watching a 4-hour cinematic saga rather than a 2-hour tv show pilot, I was so engrossed. If you're living under a rock and still haven't seen this show yet, shame on you. Go to NBC.com right now. Seriously. Right now.


2. Arrested Development - Season 3, Episode 3 -- "Forget Me Now"
Having watched this one again for the 20th or so time last night, I was once again reminded of how freakin funny this episode of Arrested is. There isn't a single wasted moment- every line, every costume, every camera angle, every sound effect-- everything is funny. Also, this episode has about 10 "callbacks" in it, inside jokes that only people who've been watching all along will notice and get, such as when GOB calls George Michael a "pothead" (a reference to the Season 1 Emmy-winning episode "Pier Pressure"), or when George Sr. tries to escape and is tackled and then delivered one hard blow by the third policeman (something that happens every time he tries to escape). When I watched this episode live about 14 months ago, I loved it so much I kept it on my Tivo for months, always finding something new to laugh about in this particularly funny episode of television's funniest show. Many of my favorite Arrested lines of all time appear in this episode ("Look at banner, Michael!", "Take this and love us again!", and "You made a mistake. You're human...except for the hand," among them). If you watch only one episode of this incredible series (which you shouldn't do-- you should rent and watch all 3 seasons in order. Trust me.), this would be the one because in my opinion, it's the single best episode of the entire series.

1. 24 - Season 3, Episode 18 -- "Day 3- 6:00 A.M. to 7:00 A.M."
The mother of all television episodes. Good God, just thinking about this episode makes my heart race. First of all, this is one of 24's best seasons overall. Remember when they had more than plot going on at the same time, and we cared? Unlike this season which has been about the nuclear bombs (until recently when it became about Audrey, who must've been in hiding since her ABC show The Nine got canceled this fall-- ooo, speaking of Audrey, did anyone catch Paul Reins on The Tudors last night? Nice.), season three had Jack dealing with the terrorist on one front, and Tony, Michelle and Gael (remember him?!) working to save people in a hotel that had been infected with a chemical agent. AWESOME. But what really makes this episode the best episode of tv ever is the final five minutes, in which Jack must shoot his own boss, Ryan Chapelle, in the head. First Chapelle tries to kill himself, but can't do it. Jack says, "It's alright," and has Chapelle kneel in front of him. Jack utters, "God forgive me," and then bam! Bullet to the brain and Chapelle's body falls limp to the ground. The best part? The silent clock countdown to end the episode. I remember watching this with my mom and not being able to speak because we just couldn't believe what we had seen. I can never remember feeling so speechless and emotionally moved from an episode of tv before. And for that reason, this is my #1 tv episode of all time.

Honorable mentions: Family Guy - "PTV" & "E. Peterbus Unum", Lost - "Pilot", Entourage - "Sorry, Ari", The Office - "Diversity Day", Arrested Development - "The Righteous Brothers"