TMNT

"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Heroes in a half shell! Turtle Power!"

Ah, to be young again. To hear those dulcet theme song tones and know that no matter how crummy first grade might be, Leo, Mikey, Raph and Don would always be waiting for you at home, ready to kick some Foot Soldier ass. But that was years ago, and as soon as the Power Rangers came along, bam! Bye bye turtles...

...Until now! Warner Bros. has re-booted the franchise with their new film release, TMNT (I still can't figure out why they insist on using that silly abbreviation), the #1 movie in America! To date, TMNT has pulled in nearly $30 million, making it a certifiable hit. Pens and paper are replaced with detailed and visually engaging CGI, Shredder is replaced with a bunch of mythical monsters and April O Neal is replaced with a Lara Croft look-a-like, but for fans of the original, this movie does not disappoint.

I was really surprised and impressed with how the producers went about legitimizing this film, distinguishing it from other half-assed attempts at move franchises (read: Catwoman, Elektra, etc.) There were a few main factors that contributed to the film's legitimacy:

1. Star Power- With actors like Laurence Fishbourne, Patrick Stewart and Sarah Michelle Gellar doing voice work, TMNT immediately proves that it's the real deal. The producers were willing to spend the money to get this talent simply for this reason. And luckily, it works out very effectively. Gellar is perfect as April O Neal, Stewart sounds good saying anything, and who would you rather have doing a cryptic narration than Laurence Fishbourne?

2. Character-driven Plot- With superhero/action films of this nature, you usual expect the plot to go something like this: New spectacular evil introduced--> Good guys band together, but are unsuccesful--> Good guys develop new abilities-->Good guys win (I'm thinking movies like the first 3 Ninja Turtle films, Power Rangers movies, the 3 Ninjas movies, etc.). In TMNT, a new powerful does exist, but the film is not driven by the quest to defeat this evil. In fact, the turtles don't even really fight together at all until the film's last 20 minutes (both a pro and a con about the film). Rather, the film is based around the collapse of the Turtles following the defeat of Shredder (see the second Turtles film). Their own personal issues with one another, specifically Raphael's inability to accept his brother Leonardo as leader, is the heart of TMNT, and is the primary reason why this film is better than many others in its genre.

3. Action-- There is plenty of gritty, hardcore, beautifully animated action in this film. My favorite sequence was one where Michelangelo skateboards through the sewers, performing one miraculous trick after another down pipes, across railings, and through manholes. I had to contain the desire to shout "Cowabunga!" it was so cool (ok, maybe not that cool).

Some cons about the film:
1. Dialogue-- It's a kid's ninja movie. Much of the dialogue is cheesy and groan-worthy. It's just something you have to deal with, but it hopefully isn't too distracting.

2. Marginalization of Michaelangelo and Donatello-- These two turtles are greatly upstaged by Raphael and Leonardo, whose relationship is the emotional and narrative center of the film. Other than a few stupid "Dude!" comments and his sick sewer skateboard scene, Mike is in maybe 2 minutes of the film. Donatello doesn't have any lines or cool solo scenes and basically is not in the movie at all. What gives? I came to see all 4 turtles, not just the ones with deeper personalities. Lame.

3. Lack of Team Turtle fighting-- as I mentioned, the four brothers don't fight together until the end of the movie. There are cool action sequences beforehand, but when it comes down to it, everyone wants to see these guys kick ass together and the film doesn't totally deliver.

4. Splinter-- While Splinter is voiced by Mako, an Asian actor, he sounds like Judd Hirsch or something and I kept expecting him to break out into Yiddish. They couldn't find a single Asian actor who didn't sound like a 70 year-old Jewish guy from New York?

Bottom line-- if you are fan of the original series, you will have a pretty good time at this movie. And when I say fan, I mean true fan. If you were a kid who just used to watch casually, you will not derive the same enjoyment that a true fan would because as I mentioned, the film is very character-driven. If you don't appreciate and love the characters (or are not under the age of 13) you will probably be scratching your head, wondering where Shredder is and why the turtles aren't eating that much pizza. But if you love the Turtles because you grew up playing with them every day, I guarantee you this movie will definitely be worth the price of admission. Do I ever want to watch it again? Certainly not; its a kid movie. But was it great to see my old pals on-screen for one last adventure? You bet.

From the point of view of a longtime fan, I give it a B. For anyone who isn't a true fan or isn't a fan at all, do not go see this movie. If I were in your shoes, I'd probably give this film a C-

Favorite Scene: Mike's sewer skate park. Awesome animation, awesome indulgence.

Favorite Line: Did anyone get the license plate of that thing that hit us last night? It looked like your mom, dude!" --Michelangelo